Jon Stewart vs. The Jurassic Corn Dog

Sunday.

The State Fair.

Me and my girls stalked about the fairgrounds in search of the elusive Jurassic Corn Dog. At first, we had trouble finding it, only managing to find newborn versions of the Jurassic Corn Dog. Tasty and tender, they went down easily, often in under four bites.

Perhaps it was the Hawaiian Shaved Ice, or the gyro, or the French fries, or the snow cones, or the bomb pomps and the quarts and quarts if ice-cold Pepsi, but when we finally wrangled the Jurassic Corn Dog and stood in awe at its wonder, between me and my girls we could only finish two-thirds of its massive carcass.

The Jurassic Corn Dog won.

Now, I may be getting older but a scant seven years ago, I was able to defeat the Jurassic Corn Dog…all by myself.

For the entire afternoon I was depressed.

You see I’m a big fella. I should be able to take the Jurassic Corn Dog. But I couldn’t. Perhaps in the aging process, your ability to digest deep fried corn batter and hot dogs slips, like your memory.

It’s probably for the best.

I shouldn’t be eating a lot of corn dogs.

But a month ago, I found a gray hair in the old chest patch. Now granted, I’m as hairy as bear, but seeing that bright white strand among a forest of brown deflated me a bit. I see it around my eyes too. Bags and growing crow’s feet. I find myself dozing on the bus.

When I start playing canasta and shuffleboard with knee-high socks and my pants to my chest, please shoot me.

I know.

Stop bitching about getting old. Everyone does.

Okay. New subject.

Jon Stewart.

I think Barack Obama’s biggest mistake in his run for the presidency was not choosing Jon Stewart as his running mate. His latest bit on the FOX news coverage of the “Terror Mosque” story was nothing short of genius. As a matter of fact, there isn’t one piece of the Daily Show I haven’t adored from moment one. Good work, Jon. The Emmy was well deserved.

And I know he skews liberal. Again, no rocket science needed there. But am I slow to think that what he is talking about makes the most sense in the world? Or is he just pandering to the liberal audience? I suppose everyone is pandering to one side or another.

Which makes you wonder about history? Has there ever been a truly impartial view of the events of humankind? If we go by today’s standards, future generations look to miss out on much of the REAL history of mankind.

It kind of makes you wonder how our generation would be if we were truly fed an impartial view of history.