I must make a retraction. Yesterday I may have alluded to my dear wife running over Julia's bike. She did not. There is no evidence to prove that she did. There. Done.
Well, let's get started. Remember, yesterday I told you about my new bike? Yep. Today I did some modifications as the model had a few assembly flaws. Listen to me. I have a new bike and on the second day, I'm a mechanical bike whiz. So, I adjusted the rear-brake positions, realigned the back tire. Minor stuff.
So after bike shop class, the girls and I headed out on our first bike ride, all three of us together. Things went surprisingly well – the girls listened, they were safe, no one cried. Good times. Christa is getting better and better on her training wheels – I could hardly hear them behind me rattling on the ground, which is good. That means she's keeping the main tires pretty well balanced. Good for her.
So we just shot through a trail tunnel leading to hill. Julia, like the little biker she is, shot ahead of me and Christa, screaming all the way down the hill. I told Christa to go ahead of me so I could keep an eye on her. She pedaled forward and seemed to be on her way, so I looked down to set my feet and began pedaling too. When I look up, BAM she had stopped and I couldn't help but plow into the poor little twinkie.
Relax. She's fine. Just a few tears. But I messed up my bike a bit in my spill, so we have to take the short road home, me hauling my bike home by hand and it was like the Nicaraguan bush out there today. Friggin' hot!
So today I was reminded of that awesome childhood reality of bicycle crashes. Everyone has had one or more in their history. I've performed and witnessed some of the best:
THE TWISTED SHOESTRING – This was the most common crash I performed, largely due to my own laziness. This crash happens when your untied shoelace gets caught in the pedals, gears or chain, applying painful pressure to your foot as the shoelace gets tighter and tighter. Inevitably, your attention is drawn to your foot that is about to get drawn into what your mind envisions as a wood chipper, thus you lose track where you are going and hit any number of obstacles.
THE HARVEY WALLBANGER – Ironically, this crash has nothing to do with alcoholic beverages, but it could I suppose. I just never saw any performed under the influence. This crash involves the rider, going faster than they intended, getting suddenly worried about their sister or a friend who also crashed and riding right up through the lawn and smacking into the side of a house. This particular crash needs a really distracted or poor bicycle driver to achieve as houses are generally built 15-30 feet from any street. I have never performed a Harvey Wallbanger...yet. But I've seen others do it.
THE HEAD-OVER-TEAKETTLES – I only saw this crash live once and I'd never wish it on anyone. My brother performed this one on a black Huffy banana seat bike. When he performed it, we were riding down this steep gravel path. Near the bottom, a small ravine had cut across the path leaving about a foot and half that you had to jump over on your way down. Well, me and our friends jumped the ravine just fine. My brother, however, mistimed his jump, landing his front wheel in the ravine and causing his momentum to flip him and his bike head-over-teakettles and into the brush.
THE CROTCHBUSTER – Now this isn't technically a crash, but males will agree with me that the immediate cross bar on the “male” bicycles is painfully inconvenient, should you stop short or slip off your seat. Too many times has this design flaw accounted for swollen testicles.
Today, I did not split the crossbar, didn't go head-over-teakettles or bang into a wall, but I was reminded that you never forget how to ride a bike, but you certainly forget the years of expertise you had as kid and that you have to relearn all the intricacies again. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it again and look forward to more bike trips with the girls.
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