Today started with a trip to Erik's “The Bike Man” Bike Shop, to get a replacement rim for Julia's bike. See mysteriously, the rim got bent and no one in this house who drives a car besides me remembers running over a bike. So I went there thinking you buy a wheel – rim, tire, tube, etc all put together. I get there and they ask me a few questions which I answer and the man comes out with just a rim.
So I asked if he has any with all the other tire stuff on it and he said, “Do you need a tire and inner tube too?”
“Um, sure,” I said back, knowing full well Jules' tire and inner tube at home are just fine.
Yeah, I guess sometimes I'm just plain slow.
So I waited until he almost has a new tire and inner tube picked out before I came to my senses and said, “You know. I think the tire and inner tube are still good.”
This entire exchange at the bike shop is a true testament to my stupidity. After he explained how you actually replace a tire (it's obvious he picked up on how lame I am), he tried talking me into buying some tool to help get the tire and inner tube off. To which I said, “Couldn't a screwdriver do that?”
Ha! Now the tables were turned. His only reply was, “I suppose that could work, but the tool is really slick.”
We walked out without the tool and back at home, a task I thought I'd screw up worse than fix, ended up being rather quick and easy. I felt young again to have a bike flipped over, propped up by its handlebars and seat and me above it, fixing things, hand-pedaling the bike to make sure the wheel works.
So that brings me to the next order of business. Okay. So I am unemployed, but have contract work. My future and my family's future is kind of fluid and not entirely gelled yet, so maybe it wasn't the best of fiscal decisions, but I bought a bicycle today.
Yeah, I know. Fat guys on bicycles sounds like a great theme for America's Funniest Home Videos. But I promised my girls when they learned to ride, I'd get a bike and we'd go for bike rides. Plus my normal mode of exercise for the summer, tennis, is logistically I night mare now, since I work in the city. So biking will allow me to get the exercise I SORELY need.
I'm rationalizing the purchase now aren't I?
Well, the tires did not explode when I got on it. So right away I get to start with a positive. Now I didn't go out and buy the $7,000 bike at Erik's Bike Shop. Yeah. Not kidding $7,000. I paid $9,000 for my car! I got mine on a Target special for $70 duckets.
Julia couldn't wait to go biking, so we went on a jaunt through the neighborhood trails. I noticed one thing about Jules that I had to correct her on numerous times – PAYING ATTENTION. On a downward slope heading into a tight right turn, I noticed she was late on braking. So I had to warn her. Crossing a road, she only looked one way and jutted out. I hollered and she stepped back. Luckily that car stopped to let us cross. The next car may not be so nice.
But afterward, our legs were tired from pedaling up hills and our chests heaved from taking our bikes to the highest speeds we could. The last time I felt like that, was like 1984, when we were almost run down one night on our bikes by a demon car.
Yeah, I said demon car.
Remember that made-for-tv movie The Gladiator about a brother who loses his younger brother to some killer in a suped up car who runs people off the road? Yeah, the older brother vows to get him, so he supes up his truck and goes out to get revenge. Well, that same year my brother and I were biking down a darkened street, when a parked car threw its headlights on, fired up its engine and actually chased us.
No shit.
Well we pedaled our asses off for four blocks, once even taking a wrong turn in a cul-de-sac, which made the car squeal Its tires as it spun around to continue the chase. Once we got to our home street, we bailed off into our neighbors back yard, tired, winded and scared shitless.
When we got home, we told our parents, every single detail – in horrifying fashion.
That's when mom said, “Yeah, right.”
At the time, we were shocked. We were almost killed for Christ's sake! There was a demon car trying to run down kids out there! Just like on tv. It took me 24 years to realize, had anyone lied, stole and cheated as much as my brother and I did when we were younger, non one would have believed us either.
But I swear to god it really happened. Really!
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